Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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