By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
