what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
