I'm really into asian looking animals
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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