I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
