I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
