Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
