And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
