You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
