so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the day after is always just damage control
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
