Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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