Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
