a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
