dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Never joke about your clitoris.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
