i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
