hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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