She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
