Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
