He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
