I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
