so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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