I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
