Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well you can't waste a boner
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
