i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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