We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
