Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
