the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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