The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
