we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
