i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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