Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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