You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
