yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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