nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
