return my video game
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
