so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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