is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
