from now on my penis is your penis
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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