U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
