in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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