grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
