just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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