"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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