Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
