Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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