just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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