Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
