I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
