Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
