I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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