Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
